Weaning baby Luca

One month ago I started to wean my baby boy.

Of course it was my decision to wean since I am going back to work soon but it still feels strange.  My reason says yes but my heart says no. 

I reduced one feeding per week to make it easier on him. And on me.  I did not want it to go too fast.  I did not want to say goodbye too fast.

The work is almost done.  He still refuses to drink formula but he is drinking water.

Yesterday late afternoon, he was sucking on my neck, my chest, my arm... He is still looking for me. It melts my heart. 

To think that for the first 5 months of his life it is the ONLY thing he ate.
He lives because of me.
Just writing this makes my eyes tear up.


I have loved having his tommy against mine for the last ten months. The calm he has provided me. Having him in my lap, seeing his little mouth sucking, grabbing his little fingers, stroking his fine hair, looking at his little body grow from month to month. Mmmm...

I tried to really pay attention during those last few nursing sessions. But not too much. I did not want to get emotional...

I breastfed for a last time during the night of Monday but I did want to think that is was my last time.

It’s hard to imagine I won’t nurse him again.

No, no, no...says my heart.  Never nurse again. That's impossible.  

Are we really there yet?

It is already summer that is starting?

Where has the last year gone by?

Ciao Luca, amore mio.

I love you so.

I'll make it up to you by cuddling you even more - if that's possible?!
_____

I wish I could breastfeed other babies. I wish I could have given my milk to premature babies but Hema-Québec is not ready for it yet. I would have loved to sit in a hospital room every week and give my milk to a child in need.